Looking for a fun way to tease your big brother? Whether you love him or just enjoy some harmless sibling rivalry, roasting your older brother can be hilarious! In this article, we’ve gathered 200+ 150 roasts to roast your big brother that are funny, smart, and perfect for any situation. From quick comebacks to playful burns, you’ll find the perfect line to make him laugh—or squirm!
These roasts are easy to read, super entertaining, and safe for sibling humor. Let’s dive in and get roasting!
1. Classic Roasts for Your Big Brother
- “You call that a hairstyle? My pillow looks better in the morning 😆”
- “You’re like a cloud… when you disappear, it’s a beautiful day ☀️”
- “Did it hurt when you fell from the ugly tree? 🌳😂”
- “You have something on your chin… no, the third one down 🧐”
- “Your jokes are like expired milk… they just stink 🥴”
- “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong 🤦”
- “You bring everyone together… to roll their eyes 🙄”
- “Your cooking could win a ‘do not try this at home’ award 🍳🔥”
- “Your fashion sense is like a time machine… stuck in 2005 🕰️”
- “You’re proof that even evolution can take a break 🐒”
2. Funny Sibling Roasts
- “If laziness was an Olympic sport, you’d get silver… for showing up late 🏅”
- “You call that dancing? My cat has more rhythm 🐱💃”
- “Your brain is like the Bermuda Triangle… stuff goes in and never comes out 🧠”
- “I’d explain it to you but I left my crayons at home ✏️”
- “You’re the human version of a participation award 🏆”
- “Even mirrors avoid reflecting you sometimes 🪞”
- “Your playlist is proof that taste is overrated 🎵”
- “You’re like software… always updating but never improving 💻”
- “Your face is a perfect mix of 😐 and 😳”
- “You bring out the inner patience in people… unfortunately 🤯”
3. Roast Ideas for Texts
- “You text like autocorrect is your biggest enemy 📱😂”
- “Your typing speed is slower than a snail on vacation 🐌”
- “Even predictive text gives up on you 📝”
- “Your emojis are lost without Google Translate 😅”
- “You’re proof that spellcheck can’t fix everything ✍️”
- “Your texts are like plot twists… nobody sees them coming, thankfully 😬”
- “You send messages… and instantly regret them 📩”
- “You could ghost a conversation better than Casper 👻”
- “Your texting style is a national hazard ⚠️”
- “I’d reply to you but I’m busy laughing 🤣”
Read More:200+ Good Morning Reply to Girl: Sweet, Funny & Cute Responses
4. Sarcastic Big Brother Roasts
- “Nice job being late… again ⏰”
- “Your ideas are so original… from 1999 📼”
- “Thanks for being an example… of what not to do 🙃”
- “You have a face for radio 📻”
- “Your sense of direction… straight to trouble 🧭”
- “You’re living proof that not all superheroes wear capes 🦸”
- “You have an amazing talent… making everything awkward 🤷”
- “If procrastination was art, you’d be Picasso 🎨”
- “Your humor is like Wi-Fi… sometimes it just doesn’t work 📶”
- “Your singing voice could scare birds away 🐦”
5. Funny Burns for Siblings
- “You must be tired… from doing nothing all day 😴”
- “You’re like a software update… nobody asked for it 💾”
- “Your fashion is so brave, it should have a warning ⚠️”
- “You’re living proof that genetics can be tricky 🧬”
- “Your jokes are like expired chips… stale and sad 🍟”
- “You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo bottles 🧴”
- “Your energy level is like a broken battery 🔋”
- “Even your reflection avoids eye contact 🪞”
- “You call that singing? My alarm clock sounds better ⏰🎶”
- “You’re so clumsy, gravity files complaints ⚖️”
6. Short and Sweet Roasts
- “Big bro? More like big joke 😏”
- “You’re the king of mediocrity 👑”
- “Brains are optional, right? 🤔”
- “Your future called… it wants a refund 📞”
- “You bring excitement… to everyone else’s nap 😴”
- “Your confidence is bigger than your talent 💪”
- “You’re proof that bad ideas live long 🐛”
- “Even Google can’t find your style 🔍”
- “You have a face only a mom could love ❤️”
- “Your skills are… questionable at best 🧐”
7. Playful Big Brother Jabs
- “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘couch potato’ 🥔”
- “You talk a lot… mostly nonsense 🗣️”
- “Your dance moves are a crime against rhythm 💃🚨”
- “You have a bright future… in hiding 🙈”
- “You’re living proof that practice doesn’t always make perfect 🎯”
- “Your voice could startle a cat 🐱”
- “You call that a workout? My grandma lifts more 💪”
- “Your gaming skills are legendary… for losing 🎮”
- “Even your dog ignores you sometimes 🐕”
- “You’re the plot twist nobody asked for 🤷♂️”
8. Smart Roasts for Older Siblings
- “You’re like a software bug… annoying but memorable 🐞”
- “Your ideas are… interesting, in a tragic way 💡”
- “You have the patience of a caffeinated squirrel 🐿️”
- “Even your shadow tries to avoid you 🌑”
- “You bring chaos… with style 😎”
- “Your logic is like a maze… confusing and pointless 🌀”
- “You’re a legend… in your own mind 🏅”
- “Your cooking could be a science experiment 🔬”
- “You could start a club for bad decisions 🏚️”
- “Your hair has more volume than your brain 🧠”
9. Roasts About Habits
- “You eat like a tornado 🌪️”
- “Your room has its own ecosystem 🪴”
- “You snore like a chainsaw 🪚”
- “You procrastinate like it’s an art form 🎨”
- “Your bathroom breaks take longer than vacations 🛁”
- “You binge-watch… everything… always 📺”
- “Your wardrobe is a museum of bad fashion 🏛️”
- “You leave crumbs everywhere… it’s a disaster 🍪”
- “You forget things faster than a goldfish 🐟”
- “Your laziness is Olympic-level 🏆”
10. Roasts About Appearance
- “Your face is like a textbook… old and boring 📚”
- “You have a smile… if it was optional 😬”
- “Your hairstyle is a mystery 🕵️”
- “You dress like a confused mannequin 🛍️”
- “Your glasses make you look smarter… not really 🤓”
- “You’re rocking that ‘just woke up’ look 😴”
- “Your style is so unique… it’s confusing 🎭”
- “You could scare mirrors away 🪞”
- “Your shoes are on vacation from fashion 👟”
- “You shine… but mostly in awkward moments ✨”
11. Roasts About Personality
- “You’re a walking contradiction 🤯”
- “Your stubbornness deserves an award 🏅”
- “You argue like it’s your full-time job 💼”
- “You’re the drama king/queen 👑”
- “Your charm is… in beta testing 🧪”
- “You’re always fashionably late ⏳”
- “Your confidence outweighs your skills 💪”
- “You’re the reason patience was invented ⏱️”
- “Your sarcasm is unmatched 🥴”
- “You make awkward look effortless 🤪”
12. Roasts for Gaming Big Brothers
- “Your gaming skills are a public service announcement 🎮”
- “You rage quit like a professional 🤬”
- “Even NPCs avoid you in games 🕹️”
- “Your strategy is… questionable 🧩”
- “You die faster than loading screens ⏳”
- “Your headset deserves an award for patience 🎧”
- “You’re the reason tutorials exist 📖”
- “Your high scores are low… very low 🏆”
- “Even AI trolls you better 🤖”
- “You’re the ultimate boss… to lose against 👾”
13. Roasts About Intelligence
- “You have the memory of a goldfish 🐟”
- “Your ideas are… let’s call them ‘creative’ 💡”
- “You think outside the box… way too far 📦”
- “Your problem-solving skills are legendary… for mistakes 🧩”
- “You could fail a logic test without trying 📝”
- “Your advice comes with a warning ⚠️”
- “You’re proof that brains are optional 🧠”
- “Even Google can’t help sometimes 🔍”
- “Your IQ might be in airplane mode ✈️”
- “You’re a genius… in making errors 🤯”
14. Roasts About Laziness
- “You move like slow motion 🐢”
- “You take naps professionally 🛌”
- “Your energy is renewable… in theory 🔋”
- “Even sloths ask you for tips 🦥”
- “You dream a lot… about doing less 😴”
- “Your to-do list fears you 📋”
- “You exercise your right to be lazy 💪❌”
- “Even gravity struggles with you ⚖️”
- “Your motivation is on vacation 🌴”
- “You’re the CEO of doing nothing 👑”
15. Roasts About Social Life
- “You have more followers than friends 🤳”
- “You’re popular… in your imagination 🧠”
- “Even your plants avoid talking to you 🌱”
- “Your charm is a niche market 😏”
- “You’re the life of… your own party 🎉”
- “You have a fan club… of one 🫂”
- “People like you… eventually 🤷♂️”
- “Your social skills are under construction 🚧”
- “Even ghosts ghost you 👻”
- “You’re invited… mostly by accident ✨”
16. Roasts About Mistakes
- “You make mistakes like a pro 🏆”
- “Even Google can’t fix your errors 🔍”
- “Your plans are always ‘experimental’ 🧪”
- “You could get lost in a hallway 🏢”
- “Even clocks avoid your timing ⏰”
- “Your logic is on vacation 🏖️”
- “You’re the CEO of oops moments 👑”
- “Mistakes follow you like a shadow 🌑”
- “Your fails are legendary 🏆”
- “You’re the reason manuals exist 📖”
17. Roasts About Food
- “You eat like a tornado 🌪️”
- “Your cooking is an adventure 🍳”
- “Even toast fears your kitchen 🔥”
- “You season like a mad scientist 🧂”
- “Your snacks disappear mysteriously 🍫”
- “You’re the reason leftovers exist 🥡”
- “You chew louder than a construction site 🏗️”
- “Your fridge needs therapy 🧊”
- “Even spices avoid you 🌶️”
- “You could star in a cooking disaster show 📺”
18. Roasts About Sports
- “You run like you’re in slow motion 🐢”
- “Even the ball avoids you ⚽”
- “Your scores are history books 📚”
- “You play like rules are optional 🏀”
- “Even referees feel pity 🏟️”
- “You could lose a solo race 🏃♂️”
- “Your stamina is a bedtime story 🛌”
- “You train… occasionally 🏋️”
- “Even your shadow outruns you 🌑”
- “You’re the MVP of trying 😂”
19. Roasts About Technology
- “You call that tech-savvy? 💻”
- “Even your phone avoids you 📱”
- “You’re still buffering 🌀”
- “Your apps crash more than planes ✈️”
- “You update… eventually ⏳”
- “Your Wi-Fi fears commitment 📶”
- “You could reboot the world… accidentally 🌍”
- “Even AI mocks you 🤖”
- “Your password is a masterpiece… of mistakes 🔑”
- “You type like autocorrect gave up ✍️”
20. Random Funny Roasts
- “You’re like a cloud… occasionally annoying ☁️”
- “Even cats ignore you 🐱”
- “Your laughter scares toddlers 😂”
- “You’re proof that genetics has a sense of humor 🧬”
- “You could get lost in a straight line ↔️”
- “Your shadow avoids you 🌑”
- “Even mirrors have limits 🪞”
- “You’re the CEO of awkward moments 👑”
- “Your jokes age like milk 🥛”
- “You’re a legend… in your own mind 🏆”
FAQs
1. What is the best way to roast my big brother?
Keep it funny and playful. Avoid anything mean-spirited, so it’s fun for both of you.
2. Are these roasts safe for texting?
Yes! Most of them are short, funny, and perfect for texting without hurting feelings.
3. Can I use these roasts in public?
Absolutely! Many are safe for public jokes, but consider your brother’s mood and setting.
4. How do I deliver a roast without starting a fight?
Use a smile or emoji. Tone matters more than words. Keep it playful and lighthearted.
5. Can I mix these roasts for more creativity?
Yes! Combine lines or emojis to make new, hilarious roasts that suit your brother perfectly.
Final Words
Roasting your big brother can be a fun way to bond, laugh, and share memorable moments. With 200+ 150 roasts to roast your big brother, you now have a huge arsenal of witty comebacks, funny burns, and playful jabs. Remember, the best roasts are smart, funny, and delivered with love. Have fun teasing your sibling, and let the laughter begin!
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